So what do you do if you’re spouse is a spender? Well today I am going to share some things that helped us!

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To be honest my husband had to get me on board with budgeting. Hi my name is Lydia and I like to learn things the hard way!

One day my husband came to me and said “you need to start listening to Dave Ramsey” and my response was “you need to leave me alone.” Yeah, so mature on my part. But I am stubborn and my husband knew he would need to take a different approach.

He respected my view point

Jason decided we needed to get into debt and get in control of our finances. But he knew if he dictated to me what needed to be done I wasn’t going to go along with it. Because here is the thing, your spouse isn’t a child. They don’t need or deserve to be spoken down to. Jason understood that if wanted me to go along and budget and stick to a plan he had to lead by example.

Marriage is partnership and you need to have a respectful discussion.

We day dreamed together

We have now been out of debt for five years. When we started this whole journey I was pregnant with our oldest son. My husband point blank asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted to stay home with our son, I wanted to start my own business and I wanted to buy a house.

He was very blunt and told me as long as we were in debt NONE of that could happen. Our debts were holding us back.

We had designated personal money

My husband and I each get money every month to do anything we want. It’s our money to spend on things we want like coffee or clothes or anything else.

I know my friend Jessi Fearon has talked about the fact that her husband gets more spending money than her because that’s the best way to keep their budget in check. Once that money is designated to your spouse you have no say in what happens to it.

If your husband wants to spend it all on beef jerky and Mountain Dew, he’s a grown up. If your wife wants to run it threw a shredder and make confetti, it’s her money. Obviously, if your spouse is doing something harmful or spending money on things that contradict the core values that the two of you have set for your household, that’s different. But getting ticked off just because you don’t like the way your spouse spends their personal money is just going to set you up for an argument.

If your spouse buys books with his or her personal money and you think they are wasting it on things they can get for free at the library, keep that to yourself. This is part of living with another adult.

What if my spouse won’t talk about money at all?

This is a question I get a lot, and what I am going to say is going to sound harsh and blunt. If you’re spouse refuses to talk about money, won’t listen, shuts down, belittles you or just refuses to talk about- your problem is bigger than money.

It is beyond your finances. But money fights are rarely just about money. It’s about a lack of communication, which is far, far bigger than your bank account.

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