Five things never to say to a pregnant woman and one you always should

/

There is no denying that I am pregnant. My tummy protrudes from my torso like I am smuggling a Christmas ham. My nose and lips have plumped and we won't even get into the size of my rear end!

I know I am super pregnant. I have entered my third trimester and embraced all of the joys that go with it. 

My babies will be 18 months apart, so there is a small part of me that feels like I have been pregnant for two years. But I do feel incredibly blessed. I am excited to meet my sweet little boy in 11 more weeks. 

However, I do get a little tired of hearing all the things people feel obligated to say to pregnant women. I compiled a list of my favorites. 

1. Get all the sleep you can now because you never will sleep again. I have a (nearly) 16-month-old. I know all about the sleep patterns (or lack of) those first few months. I also know what it's like to chase a baby. So I got it. I'm good. Thanks. 

2. You look like you're due any day now. Nope. I still have 11 weeks. But thanks, I didn't feel fat before you said that.

3. How many babies are you having? How many times can I slap you? (I can get a little snarky.)

4. It's a boy/girl because you're carrying low/high. You can tell things just by looking at me? Quick, tell me, will I ever win the lottery. 

5. You're having two babies in under two years? You know how that happens, right? Yes. I know. Do you know? Would you like me to explain it to you?

And one thing you should always say:

You're going to be a great Mama. God has blessed this child already. 

Don't forget, I'm linked up at The Baby Shower. 

Thoughts from the comfy chair: He is still a baby

/

I smiled politely at the woman as I disagreed with her. 

"He isn't a baby anymore, he is a big boy," she said. 

"No," I smiled back at her. "He is still a baby." 

I didn't know the woman, I would have disagreed with her anyway. 

My sweet boy is 15-months-old. In about 12 weeks he will be a big brother and I will have two sweet boys. 

But just because he will be a big brother doesn't mean he isn't a baby. He walks, he feeds himself, he tries to be independent. But he is still a baby. 

I heard him crying this morning at 4 a.m. The house was pitch black. The rain was beating down heavily on the awning outside our windows. I had been awake, exhausted, but unable to sleep due to the many "joys" pregnancy brings. (Restless legs and heartburn anyone?)

I stumbled my way into his room to find my sweet boy sitting up in his bed. His big blue eyes looking up at me. His little arms extended. "I need my mama," his face said. 

When I picked him up he tucked his little knees up under him and curled into a ball on my chest. He let out a little sigh. I pressed my cheek to his forehead, he felt hot. His fever was 101. He always runs a fever when he cuts teeth and right now he is working in his dreaded molars. 

I curled up with him in our comfy rocking chair. I was exhausted, I wanted to sleep, but these quiet moments of getting to cuddle with my little man are few and far between. I am always chasing him as he runs from place to place around the house. I am chasing these moments and they are getting away from me. 

He is still a baby. He started to doze off in my arms, his breaths coming heavy against my face. 

Why do we need children to grow up so fast? The world will push and pull and bend him into adulthood if I let it. It will come on fast and strong and in the blink of an eye if I don't watch closely. It is my job, my calling, my mission to see he grows slowly. 

He has the rest of his life to be a big boy. A child. A young man. A grown up. But he has just a season, a year or two or three (if I'm lucky) to be a baby. 

He has his whole life ahead of him, and it will be a good life, hopefully made easier because he was given the gift of room and time to grow. 

I won't rush it. He is still a baby. He is my baby. 

 

New Mom Care Package

/

 

Last week we talked about encouraging new moms. Earlier this week I took a friend a new mom care package. It was filled with stuff just for her. 

Care packages are fun to give and certainly fun to give. 

I used a bucket I had left over from my sweet boy's birthday party. These buckets were purchased by my mother-in-law's sister for $1 at the Dollar Tree. 

I then took the bucket and filled it with popcorn, peanuts, tea, hot cocoa and some candy I put inside one of my homemade mason jar tumblers. 

I also put in some soap from bath and body works and some lip gloss I had gotten from CVS using my Extra Care Bucks. 

Here are some tips for giving a care package:

  • Think about what the receiver needs. You don't want to give things a person doesn't want or would never use. 
  • Fill the care package with snacks and goodies. Whether it's a new mom, a college student, or a soldier who has been deployed, we all LOVE snacks!
  • Keep it simple. There is no need to imitate Pinterest. 
  • It doesn't have to be expensive. Load it down with all those great samples you get in the mail. 
  • Include a sweet note. I included a note from my son that said, "Baby boy thinks you're doing a great job and wanted you to have some goodies."
  • Use encouraging words. I included some Bible verses I find encouraging. 

Long ago the Lord said to Israel:
“I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love.
    With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself. 

Jeremiah 31:3.

What would you put in a care package, or want to receive in one?

 

Blog at Home Mom

/

A couple weeks ago I had the privilege of previewing a new book by Christin Slade at Joyful Mothering. 

Blog at Home Mom is full of wonderful advice and encouragement for mothers who are either running blogs, looking to run blogs or who are writers at heart. 

Christin runs one of the most encouraging blogs out there. It is full of uplifting, spiritual advice that has motivated and inspired many to keep Christ at the center of their days and nights as mothers. 

Her weekly household maintenance schedule is particularly helpful. 

Her book is no less helpful. I was especially struck by the section where Christin talks about being intentional with your time. 

Click here to visit Christin Slade.

Christin describes the book like this:

Blog at Home Mom (#BAHM) is a source of practical and encouraging tips to help moms balance their life at home with their blogging ministry or business online. You will find ideas for organizing and prioritizing your blog and writing, as well as setting goals and keeping balance with your home and children.

Blog at Home Mom can be purchased at Amazon or Click here to visit Christin Slade.

Chapters

Chapter 1: Set Goals and Have a Plan
Know what to do and how to get there

Chapter 2: Organize Your Days
Know what to do and when to do it

Chapter 3: Prioritize Your Tasks
Put your most important duties and details in order

Chapter 4: The Power of a Schedule
Make the most of your time by giving it purpose

Chapter 5: Stay Consistent to Keep Balance
Knowing the needs is key to knowing balance

Chapter 6: Make the Most of Your Time
Learn to make the minutes count

Chapter 7: Care for Your Marriage
Be intentional about keeping your man in the loop

Chapter 8: Care for Your Spiritual Walk
Everything flows from this vital point

 

This post contains affiliate links. 

Managing your schedule as a Work At Home Mom

/

I started my Virtual Assisting and Marketing Business this past spring. I have been blessed that it's been mildly successful. I have seven steady clients now. 

But I must admit with a toddler and new baby on the way I worry how I will manage my schedule in the future. 

So how do you manage your day as a WAHM? 

That seems to be the million dollar question. 

SO I reach outed to the internet. 

Earlier this year I read  The Bootstrap VA by Lisa Morosky it's a great book if you're at all interested in starting your own online business. 

Lisa set up a great Facebook page for those who have read the book. That was the first place I sought advice. 


1. Work around your child's sleep schedule. 

The number one thing I heard was work after your babies go to bed. That's great advice, it really is. But when you have a new born, that doesn't work. 

I have a 22-month old and I can't do anything focused when she's around and awake. I work during her naps and after she's in bed and I have a little child are strategically timed to my most productive time of day. And my to-do list is carefully sorted so I can easily find what tasks can be done during different kinds of time (nap, with her, with baby sitter, or brain dead late evening.) I recommend you don't set your sights too high for a while, and be gentle with yourself when the day doesn't go as planned!


2. Write everything down. 

I also reached out to Andrea at Simple Organized Living who said since the birth of her daughter her days are far less structured.

Instead she makes a list of things that need to get done each day and does them whenever she has a chance.

3. Figure out how long each task takes. 

If you have a minute where your child is distracted by a book or a toy, take a moment to plan your client's post schedules or read through and answer emails. 

4. Give yourself a day off. 

Working from home means it's easy to just do one more thing, which can quickly add up to hours and hours of extra work. 

For me my time at home with my son is precious and I want to protect it as much as I can, meaning there are days I just don't work. Or blocks of time I don't work because we are doing special things together. 

5. Set your future goals. 

I want to grow my business so that after my babies start school I can still be home with them after school, summers and holidays. I have no idea what that business will look like, but I am paving the way for five years down the road. 

Why you should offer Encouragement to new mothers

/

On Wednesday I had the joy of visiting an old friend and her new baby. We stood on her front porch as her tiny, three-week old baby curled into her.

It made me long for the days my little boy was a new baby. It made me look forward to the birth of our new baby who will be here some time in May.

While my friend was still glowing with new baby love, she was tired and it reminded me of those hard early weeks.

In the middle of our conversation I reminded her she is doing a great job. I sent her a message that night telling her the same thing.

I think as moms that's an important reminder to new mothers. It reminds them that they aren't alone, that they are supported and that they aren't being judged.

It's easy to forget what it's like to be a new mom. You're tired, healing from the pains of delivery (battle wounds if there ever were ones), you have this new person you are trying to keep alive, learning to feed and praying for sleep.

It's easy to look at the struggles of a young mother and inwardly roll your eyes at all that fear.

But I remember how it felt to be on the receiving end of an internal eye roll. Seasoned mothers would say, "well I did X, Y and Z and my child turned out okay."

Or they would quip down their nose, "typical new mom."

So, Mamas, I challenge you all to dig down deep into those memories of new baby love and remember what it was like to be scared, exhausted and feeling alone. Remember what it was like to have a new baby, no sleep and piles upon piles of dirty laundry that smelled like soured milk.

When you cross a new mom offer her a word of encouragement. Offer to hold her baby so she can take a shower, offer to do a load of laundry. Bring food and diapers and chocolate.

Offer non-judgmental advice ONLY WHEN IT IS SOLICITED.

And pray for her. Pray for a new mom. The light at the end of the tunnel seems so far away when you're sleeping in 45 minute shifts.

To my boy on (the day after) his first birthday

/

Dear Sweet Boy,

I cannot believe you are a year old. I can vividly remember the night you were born. I remember seeing your little hands and face and knowing you were the most beautiful baby I have ever seen.

This year has been wonderful and I have you to thank for that. I have loved every smile, every giggle, every spoonful of pureed peas.

I vividly remember the first time you laughed. The first time you tried to crawl. The first time you took a bite of food. (It was avocado. You loved it.)

And now that you're a year old I look back on all the long nights, the dirty diapers and the tears (yours and mine) and I know I will miss you being my little newborn.

I have been so blessed to be home with you. I have been so blessed to have time to just sit and hold you and let you be my baby.

But you will always, always, always be my baby. The joy of my life. The sweetest boy I have ever known. You will always be the first baby.

I look forward to watching you grow, to seeing you change.

I look forward to your first steps, the first time you read a word outloud, your first day of school. I look forward, but I can wait.

Feel free to stay little. Feel free to grow up slowly.

You will always have a place where you are loved, you will always have a place where you are celebrated. And you will always have a safe place to be yourself.

I love you,

Mama

Raising a baby on a second hand budget: Clothing on a dime.

/
No one can deny that having a baby is expensive. But it doesn’t have to break the bank. I was amazed when registering for our baby the amount of things people think you need.

Guess what?
You don’t.

I am not a brand snob. By any stretch of the imagination. I thank my mother for that, she raised us on Payless shoes and the Dollar General.

When my husband and I were planning on having a baby our financial circumstance was a far cry from what it is now. - Within two months of my son being born my husband got a great job with great benefits that allowed me to stay home. We moved closer to my parents for said job and we paid off all $10,000 of our credit card debts and the bills we racked up from having our son. I know, it has God written all over it.

We were looking at paying for this baby on a shoestring budget. And thanks to some generosity from friends and family- we did.

So, I am breaking down to you our second hand baby. Wow, that sounds sad.
 
Clothing- 99 percent of my son's clothes are second hand. And we didn't pay for any of them. My sister and my friend Heather were kind enough to give us clothes. For real!
Heather's baby was born one year before mine, and like my baby he was a chunker, so his sizes match my son's in season.

She gave us great, name brand clothes. Everything from jammies to onesies and some things even had the tags on them. When I tried to pay her she shook her head and smiled.
My sister did the same thing, handing over a giant plastic container of clothes. When little bit out grows one set of clothes I break out the plastic container and restock. It is like shopping.
But say you don't have an awesome big sister, or generous friend. What can you do?
  • Thred Up - This is a great website where you can get clothes, shoes, books and toys. The clothes are always in great condition and are 70 percent off of retail. They also have this great service where you can sell your kids clothes. They send you a bag, you fill it up with name brand, gently used clothing and they pay you.

** Thread Up used to have a flat rate, but as Kristen from Trial and Error Homemaking (a terrific blog) points out "Thred Up changed the way they do things. It's more like a consignment store now - where you purchase individual items. For instance, when I went to their site just now, the first item was a plaid shirt in size 4 for $14.49. They list "retail values" to try to justify their prices (this shirt was apparently 72% off). In my opinion, it's not nearly as great of a deal."

  • Be a sales rack Diva! I got a free subscription to Parenting Magazine through a couponing site. Each month they have a 20 percent off coupon for Gymboree and Crazy 8's. If you combine that with the Gymboree sales rack at the end of the season and buy ahead for next year, that is some big bucks. I am talking corduroy pants for $2 people!
  • Buy ahead - last week we went to Target where I found pants for $1 and shirts for around $2. (I paired that with a gift card I had gotten from ebates so basically my stuff was free.) The sizes I purchased were 12 months and up. My son won't wear those for a few months, but I have put them in his closet and when he gets bigger we will be ready to go. 
  • eBay! -  So why was Heather so willing to just hand over bags and bags of kid's clothes? Because she got them for a steal on eBay. You can buy kids clothing in bulk. Need to outfit your child for the summer? No problem, just type in a size and season and many, many eBayers are selling a garbage bag full of last year's summer clothes.
  • Consignment sales- In January my husband and I went to a HUGE consignment sale in Mobile. It happens twice a year and we made off like bandits. Plus the sale was running a Living Social special so that made it even sweeter. But, a little warning, when dealing with boy clothes, consignment sales aren't always a good deal- I think boys, even as babies, are hard on their clothes. Want to find a consignment sale in your area? Check out Consignmentsalfinder.org.

What have you done to save cash on clothing those kids?

Raising a baby on a second hand budget: Already loved baby gear, a dream come true

/

I was in the middle of my pregnancy when my husband pulled up to our little house, his red pickup truck loaded down with goodies. It felt like we had won the lottery.

There was a crib, mattress, sheets, changing pad and covers, a high chair, excercauser, toys, books and clothes.

He hauled everything into the nursery where a bassinet, bouncy chair and Bumbo seat awaited. The nursery was full and we hadn't paid for any of it!

Yesterday we talked about ways to get cheap kid's clothes. Let's talk about baby gear.

Again, my sister and my friend, Heather, had loaded me down with there genorosity. But what if you don't have generous people in your life?

My number one peice of advice: Ignore all the lists of things magazines and books tell you that you need to have a baby. You only need as much stuff as your budget can handles.

Here are the musts:

  • Crib
  • High Chair
  • Changing pad
  • Blankets
  • Stroller
  • Car seat - extreme caution should be used if puschasing a used carseat. I would advise against it. Here is why.

Here are somethings that are great to have but you could do without them:

  • Bouncy chair
  • Boppy Pillow
  • Baby gym

Now, I say you don't need a bouncy chair, but considering my son slept in that thing the first month of his life, maybe I should move it to the must have spot???

And here is one thing you don't need:

  • A changing table. - Seriously, put the changing pad on a dresser and move on with your life. You don't need an extra piece of furniture you will need to get rid of later.

SO how do you get the must have for cheap?

  • Craigslist- This online garage sale has a ton of great stuff! I have sold a car, a couch, a bed, a refrigertator and given away a litter of puppies on Craigslist. And there is baby stuff galore. This morning I saw a stroller, monitor, highchair and bouncy seat on sale for a combined $20! You can't beat that. Click here for tips on how to buy on Craigslist.
  • Garage Sales - This sounds like no brainer, right? It is June, so garage sale season is in full swing and many of them have tons of baby items. If you go to a garage sale make sure you have cash on hand. Be willing to haggle. While a garage seller wants to make cash, they also want to get rid of their stuff, so they will probably be willing to cut you a discount, especially if you are buying multiple items. Most local papers run a garage sale section in Friday's paper, so it won't be hard to find one.
  • FreeCycle - If you live in a rural area like I do this might not be an option for you. But if you're a city dweller, FreeCycle is a great place to find, trade and get rid of baby gear for free. Free is in the name!
  • DIY - Stores like IKEA or unfinished furniture stores offer great deals on baby furniture if you're willing to put in a little work you can get some BIG savings.
  • Buy for the future. Your baby doesn't need tiny furniture just because they are a tiny person. Go ahead and get your child's dresser, book shelves, etc. now and use them as baby furniture. That way when your child gets older they already have the furniture they need and you won't need to buy two sets.
  • Understand that everything you get doesn't have to be shiny and new. A used crib can be painted, polished and shined. A great set of colorful sheets or a colorful changing pad cover can dress up a room. Your baby doesn't care if he or she has the latest, greatest, trendiest things. They care that you love them, feed them and change them.

I found out a long time ago that when I stopped trying to impress people with what I have and how I live I was a lot happier.

Remember one of my favorite verses:  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:20-21

 

Part I: Raising a baby on a second hand budget: Clothing on a dime.

Part III:Raising a baby on a second hand budget: Toys for boys (and girls)

Part IV: Raising a baby on a second hand budget: Don't forget Mom

Click here for all of this in an ebook form.  

Raising a baby on a second hand budget: Toys for Boys (and Girls)

/

Christmas, birthday, Easter, Valentine's Day, just because you are so stinkin' cute.

The gifts you want to give or are pressured to give your baby can add up fast!

But let's face it, until our children reach a certain age the toys they have only hold their attention for about a month or a minute and then they are forgotten about.< /p>

Why buy new things? I am not saying that you need to buy everything used for your child. It is okay to splurge once in a while, but why pay twice the price for something your kid plays with for a limited time in their life?

I learned this by example. My sister has three really cute kids. A lot of the toys and clothes they have came second hand. She said she was happy to get them that way, because that meant she only had to spend money on the really fun stuff.

So I have taken this advice to heart.

Earlier this where we purchased this all of this for $16:

That's a musical zebra that bounces, a light up train that my boy can ride, a Backyardigan's Play House and two puzzles.

The little zebra had never even been used!

We already talked about finding great consignment sales through Consignmentsalefinder.org. Did you know that most consignment sales mark things down to 50 percent off their last few days?

That means you can get great toys that are already at a great price for half off!

We have my son's birthday and Christmas done (he is only seven months old) and both costs us less than $30!

Here a a few tips for finding great toys, books and educational toys at great prices.

  • PaperBackSwap.com- I have been using PaperBack Swap for years. It is a great way to get great books. You simply upload your book titles and people choose books form your libraries. For every book that is chosen from you you earn a credit toward a book for your choice. It costs around $2.27 to ship each book. You only pay for the books you ship. Not the books you recieve. They have a pretty good children's library particularly for older children.
  • Girl, you gotta go to the dollar store. If you want some great board books that your little one can hold and not destruct, go to the Dollar Tree. I bought my little man some Sesame Street books on colors, shapes and going to bed.
  • Thrift Store. The other day I was at my local thrift store and I saw some new toddler toys. They were some we already had, or already had some similar to so I didn't buy. But these were things selling for $5 that were still in their boxes. When you buy at a thrift store like the Salvation Army or Good Will, you are saving money and helping a good cause. 
  • Amazon. Go to Amazon and type in the word toy. Look at all it pulls up! And look at all those used toys people are selling. I have purchased and sold a lot of things used on Amazon and I have always had good luck. And, if you're a Prime member some sellers ship Prime eligible.

What do you do to save cash on toys?

Part I: Raising a baby on a second hand budget: Clothing on a dime.

Part II: Raising a baby on a second hand budget: Already love baby gear, a dream come true?

Part IV: Raising a baby on a second hand budget: Don't forget Mom